Wedding Day Blues
by Helga on the couch
Summary: Murrpy's Law (anything that can go wrong will go wrong) is abundent at a certain weddings including Lila's behavior...R/R The End! You'll never have to wait again!!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Hey Arnold! But that would be a dream come true. (Then again, I'll probably end up giving the rights to Craig. Let's get on with the show.  
Chapter 1: You're Getting Married?  
  
By: Me, who else?  
  
Erica was staring at the pile of invitations before her. Why couldn't just send these out themselves? It make it a lot easier on me. Who to cross off my list. Speaking of list. She picked up the phone and dialed Helga's number. Ring. Ring. "Hello, who the hell is this?" good thing I am not your boss Helga Pataki.  
  
"Is this how you greet your friends now Helga, or did I catch you at a bad time?"  
  
"Sorry Erica. What is so important you had to call me at work? I'm sure you're dying to tell me." Actually I'm dying to find some one who will send out these cards. "He proposed didn't he?" Wow, she's getting good at this.  
  
"How did you know Frank proposed?"  
  
"I have my ways. Look, taking a lunch break in a half hour, want to talk then, at Chez Paris?" Hmm. I wonder if she knows about Arnold?  
  
"I'll be there. Besides, I could get a discount." She must know. It's Helga we are talking about. She'd know what's going on, doesn't she?  
  
"Who?" I know that curiosity anywhere. You're dying to find out.  
  
"Gerald, I believe. Did you hear about Arnold?" Techincally this is not gossip, it's curiosity.  
  
"No, but it's not like as if he dating Lila or something." Oh, my this is going to be one little shocker for you, Miss Pataki.  
  
"I think you should sit down. What I am about to tell you might shock you." Hell to that, I know it's going to shock you. "He is going out with Lila." Was that a small crash in the background? "You didn't sit down."  
  
"But, she- she- promised not to!" I know, then again it is Lila, you can't expect much from her. "Why would she do this to me?"  
  
"You still love him, after you dumped him. Now that's just sad. Look all I want is for you to be my Maid of Honor. Clear?"  
  
"Clear."  
  
"Talk to you later, Helga." I set the phone down on it's cradle. Better call Phoebe while I'm on it. Ring. Ring. "Hello Phoebe."  
  
"Hello Erica, I was just about to call you." Did Gerald ask the question? That must be why she wanted to call me.  
  
"I was wondering if you'd be my bride's maid, and why did you want to call me? It wouldn't have anything to deal with a certain man named Gerald, would it?"  
  
"He proposed! When are you getting married? Of course of I'll be a bride's maid, but only if you'll be one of mine." For some one who was as scared as heck of asking him out in the first place, you do clean up.  
  
"June 28. Deal, and I must be going, darling. Bye!"  
  
"Bye! Call me later with all the details." She hung up. Better get ready for lunch, can't go out to Chez Paris in these street clothes. She went to search her closet for a dress.  
  
***I know I am just building up the background alittle, but don't worry, there's gonna be a lot of action later. 


	2. WHAT?

Hello, as always, I don't own Hey Arnold! But it would be so cool if it was real.  
  
Wedding Day Blues  
  
By: Who else? ME!  
  
RING!!! 'If it is Helga, again, I will scream.' "Hello."  
  
"Hi Erica, it's Helga."  
  
"HELGA!!! WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME?!? IT'S 12 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING, THE DAY BEFORE MY WEDDING, AND YOU CAN'T STOP CALLING! I NEED TO WAKE UP TOMORROW! Look, I am very sorry that Lila broke a promise, really, but it is not going to change. Leave me alone, now." 'I am a bride, not the energizer bunny.'  
  
"Okay, Happy wedding day." Click!  
  
The next day.  
  
"Hey Helga, I'm sorry I yelled at you last night." I looked at myself in the mirror; my wedding dress is so beautiful. Shoot, where is my veil? It's in the pastor's office. "Helga, could you get my veil? It's in the pastor's office."  
  
* * *  
  
Erica looks really pretty in her dress. Where is the pastor's office? Oh, here it is. Open up! I love surprises. "What?!" SLAM! That did not happen. I must keep Bride away from office. "Oh, hi Erica, how bad do you need that veil, because honestly, it wasn't in there."  
  
"Helga, move, I need the veil." She looks serious about this one.  
  
"Oh, hi Arnold, what a surprise." Damn, why doesn't everybody I know come to the door? "How is your girlfriend?" Stay away from the door.  
  
"Um, Helga, I need to get the bible for the Priest." Don't look at me with that look. I didn't do anything. He reached for that doorknob before I could stop him.  
  
"Hi, Arnold, right?" Frank was sitting at the desk, unlike how I saw him earlier. What happened?  
  
"Yeah, Frank I just need to get the bible." I could have sworn that he was with. Arnold closed the door. "I don't know what your problem is Helga, but don't let it interfere with the-"  
  
"AHHH! WHAT THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING WITH HER?!?" Erica was screaming at the top of her lungs. "And who are you? *gasp*" Arnold had already started running down the hall.  
  
"Erica, what's wrong- LILA!!! BUT I THOUGHT! I thought." I could tell that Arnold's heart was breaking at the site of Lila and Frank. "Why did you do it?"  
  
"You told me you were a slut! I got your business card." Every body's eyes went wide.  
  
"I think I need to lie down." Like I haven't heard that one before.  
  
"Helga, Arnold, you stall the wedding. Lila, Frank, you guys get ready to tell the congregation why we are not going to have a wedding." Now slightly on the edge of tears "John, you comfort me because I think I am going to cry." She started to cry on his shoulder. "That dirty little..."  
  
"John, who are you? I mean, you look like a best man." I wanted to know who this is.  
  
"I'm the best man, his cousin." He pointed to Frank, who was trying to zip up his pants. "Not a very bright man, or decent." He moved over to the couch, picking up the tearful Erica. "You better tell try to stall the wedding."  
  
"Yeah, see you later. Come on, Arnoldo!" I finally made it to the sanctuary. "Oh, hi Phoebe, could you help us with something?" 


	3. Phoebe's day

*I don't own Hey Arnold, but I can play hide seek with my self, and I love bacon, but enough about me, we want to get back to the story. And yes, I do have a reason for going a little fast pace.  
  
Chapter 3:"What do you mean there is more?"  
  
"So anyway, Phoebe says 'You don't want to go in there.' I asked her why, and that's when I found out that the sanctuary was decorated, for a funeral. That was not a happy day for Erica AT ALL!" Helga was out of breath, on the account that it was a long story to explain. "I haven't even started on telling how the whole congregation why there wasn't going to be a wedding."  
  
"Helga. Shut up." Erica did not look pleased. "This is Phoebe's day, and that happened over a month ago. Just drop it. Her entire family does not need to be scared before their relative reaches the alter." Helga looked around at all the faces staring at her, most of which were disappointed. I looked around the room. Hopefully no body fights because I have enough to worry about with Wedding and all. "Phoebe, are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I am fine; just let me get dressed right now. Helga, would you make sure that the groom and best man are almost ready? Thank you." Please leave Lila out of this day. "Erica, I am having problems with this strap."  
  
"Sure, just a sec," she turned around to Helga, who was already in the pink bride's maid dress. "Helga, make sure that Lila doesn't enter. I am sure Gerald won't do anything, but it wouldn't hurt to get out Ol' Betsy and The Five Avengers."  
  
"Gottcha. I'll double check on the guys."  
  
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&  
  
I walked up to where the guys were changing, and who should I run into but a little red headed bitch. "Where do you think you're going, little one?" I could see the fear of being caught in her eyes.  
  
"I was only going to ask Arnold something, if you don't mind, Olga. Opps! I mean, Helga." You could tell she hiding the fact that she knew I pound her in a heart beat and that she was afraid. "Besides, it's not like he'd care what you were up to."  
  
"Arnold will never talk to you again, at least not until he talks to Iggy. You remember Iggy don't you? He was partnered up Arnold, and Arnold still didn't acknowledge his existence." I was trying by best not to pound the runt, but I knew that I was right. Arnold would never talk to her again. The next thing I knew, I was grabbed on the arm. "Hey bucko! Watch where you are grabbing!"  
  
"Sorry Helga, can we borrow you for a sec?" I looked over my shoulder to Arnold, who by looks of it, looked desperate. "Please?" He asked as I was dragged in the room.  
  
"I guess I have no choice football head." I tried to sound mad, but it didn't work around that really adorable guy who was all around wonderful and.  
  
"HELGA!" Oh, why does he have to shout, that stupid football head.  
  
"Yeah, what do need me for? I need to get back to making sure Lila doesn't mess anything up." Damn his good looks. "Well, hurry it up already!"  
  
He leaned into my ear. If only my head wasn't wondering around thinking of him! "I lost the ring." My eyes must have bugged out of my head because the next thing I knew he was telling me who he thought had it last. "I thought the Gerald had the ring but he said he gave it to me and."  
  
"Lila, that dirty little rotten rat! I will have her head for the all the things that she has done to everyone and she thinks she can get away with it!"  
  
"Helga, sit down, we need a plan to get the ring out of her hands and we aren't going to get it from beating it out of her." I sat down so that he would not try to clam me down any more. I would rather pound her then be nice to her. "Will you please try to get it from her; I gotta clam down Gerald before he goes off the deep end."  
  
"I'll try to find her, but tell me, how did she get it? And why do you guys have a better room then us? You guys have two couches, a desk, and another room too!" Man, they got it good.  
  
"Just get the ring." 


	4. The End? So soon? So short?

Note: sorry about the wait for part four, and sorry about the length of part 3, it was kinda short. Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold! All I own is a pound of bacon and a stack of pancakes. I also have an invisible hippo named George. Go figure  
  
Wedding Day Blues Chapter4: The end? What? I was just beginning to like it! By: If you like me, if you don't like it, Michel Jackson.  
  
"I'll try to find her, but tell me, how did she get it? And why do you guys have a better room then us? You guys have two couches, a desk, and another room too!" Man, they got it good.  
  
"Just get the ring." By now, Arnold was really upset at the whole thing he didn't want to talk about it. Unfortunately for him, Helga wasn't going after that ring until she got some answers, or at least one answer.  
  
"Listen to me; I am not going to go around, looking for that ring on that bitch's finger until I know how she got it!" She was not amused with Lila's presence on the planet, rather less her presence at the wedding. Arnold looked at the fury in Helga's eyes and decided he didn't want to be thrown daggers at.  
  
"Gerald was showing me the ring and so we set it down. Later when we had changed into our suits, we saw Lila on the couch." He pointed to the dresser beside the couch which they put the ring on, and then he pointed to the couch. "I told her to leave, but she made some comment on how some one stole me from her, which is entirely incorrect. When she was leaving she said she'd be back in ten minutes. After that we looked for the ring and it was gone." He sat down on the couch with a blank look but Helga didn't notice. She was too bust contemplating her next move.  
  
"See you later football head. Try to clam Geraldo down, will ya'?" She made her way to the bathroom. She looked through the cabinets thinking of how nice this church was. "Found it." She said to herself as she held up a bottle of Vaseline. She started to rub some on her cheeks and around her eyes. The Vaseline made her mascara run down and her cheeks looked wet, but that is what she wanted. She grabbed a tissue and with the corner of it she dabbed her eyes. "Perfect." She looked as if Arnold had said those dreaded words. She left the bathroom, shoulders hung, head down, looking for Lila.  
  
"Well, well, well, look how the mighty have fallen." Lila was standing in Helga's way, smirking at the lump of her enemy. Helga was quick to notice the ring on Lila's finger. It was a gold band with an inscription reading 'to my beloved'. "It looks like Arnold wants me back, doesn't he, wrench?" Helga just meekly nodded her head. "Well then led me to him, stalker." Helga led the dim-witted Lila out to the back of the church, where it was empty. "Where is he you-" Lila's words where cut off by a punch to the jaw, after which the girl was given a kick in the stomach. She took the bruised body of Lila to the closest building and dumped her in the lobby with an ID card. Thank goodness she still had friends who would make a 'Home for the Mentally Ill' working there. She drove back to the wedding, ring in hand. When she got out of the car she met Arnold on the steps.  
  
"I got it." She held up the ring. "Let's get this wedding over with, besides, I'd hate to think of what might have happen to Gerald." The headed inside to see two of the most prefect people for each other get married. Almost the prefect couple. ;)  
  
***FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!! Now I can get started on- oh, wait. You guys will just have to be patient, now won't you? Now if Lysander=Arnie and Demetrius=Arnold.. 


End file.
